I was helping some men work out a conflict the other day. We went through a typical expression and reflection exercise, where each man got to honestly express the facts, his feelings, and his opinions, and the other man listened and then echoed what he had heard.
They both expressed, listened, and reflected very well.
And then one asked: “What’s next?”
And I responded “Let’s start with respect. Let’s respect the other man’s journey and challenges. Let’s respect that they don’t have to see things the way we do, or feel the same way we do. Let’s respect that they have a right to their own perspectives, feelings, and opinions.”
The room was silent.
And I asked: “Well, do you? Do you respect each other?”
Both answered yes.
“Then here we are. Two people with different perspectives, different feelings, and different opinions – who respect each other.”
More conversation ensued, and resolution was only minutes away.
——-
Let me encourage you to do the same whenever you find that you disagree with someone, whether it be about a business deal, an agreement that just didn’t work out, or a political stand.
Listen for their perspective on the facts, their feelings, and their opinions. Make sure you heard them by repeating it back to them.
Then, respect them.
Summon up the courage to tell them you respect them. Tell them why you do.
And at the same time, respect yourself. Take personal responsibility for your own emotional state.
And remember that getting pissed off is a choice you don’t have to make.
Keep Being Awesome!
– Paul
P.S. After respect, I suggest you think about kindness, compassion, and forgiveness… and even love. It is a great path to follow.
P.P.S. If you want to make more rapid progress on your business or personal journey, just give me a call at 415.997.8001.
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