When I was a young man, I used to get triggered a lot.
Something would happen, someone would say something or look at me in a particular way, and I would get angry, instantly.
And sometimes, my own memories and fantasies would trigger me too! I would get pissed off over what I was thinking!
But some time ago, and I really don’t remember when, I started asking myself: “Why does that make me angry?”
And I started following the trail of breadcrumbs.
I learned a bunch! One of the big things I learned was that my anger was a response to some fear.
When I was triggered by making a mistake, I got angry because I was afraid of being judged as careless or stupid. My self-image was heavily dependent on being smart, and my sense of self-worth was being threatened.
When someone criticized me, I got angry because I was afraid of being rejected and being alone.
And so on.
The list goes on.
Gradually over time, I came to know myself a lot better.
Understanding why I was triggered and what I was afraid of led me to discover what I valued the most.
Friends. Family. Respect. Health. Safety. And so on.
And by understanding what I valued the most, I was able to let go of almost all of that fear.
And now, thankfully, those things that used to trigger me are just reminders. I only get angry once a year or so.
So if you want to be healthier and happier, if you want to have more peace of mind, then learn the lessons that the triggers can teach you.
It takes a lot of courage and a lot of humility, but it is well worth it.
I’m confident that you’ll find that it will pay off in business, and in all your personal relationships, too.
Just start asking yourself “why?”
And Keep Being Awesome!
– Paul
P.S. If you could use a little support at courageous self-reflection, give me a call at 415.997.8001. I’ve walked that path for years, and I know how tough it can be.
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